Saving The Best For Last
by Himura Kawaii
Summary: KnK/AU.There was something about her, I remember you telling me that. Why is it that there’s always something in the girls you’ve liked that isn’t in me? If you combine all the somethings that these girls possess, I will be nothing in comparison.-Ka
1. Chapter 1 What is Wrong With You?

Before we start!!!.  
  
A/N  
  
Hey you guys! Before you read this fic, I just want you to know a few things.  
  
This is a first person POV. It means that the character refers to himself/herself as 'I'. Kaoru's the one narrating this whole fic, so 'I' means Kaoru. Not me. ^_^  
  
I know this fic is a bit sad, but I promise you, I don't do sad endings.. so please read and review!  
  
I don't own Vanessa William's Save the Best for Last. I just borrowed it.and I don't own it! So there. :)  
  
Okay, please read and review. I live for your reviews!!! Arigatou!  
  
Now that we're done with that, on to the story!!! ^_^  
  
Ja!  
  
Kawaii  
  
Kristina_mae.agulto@up.edu.ph 0917-4087755 Talk to me. I wanna hear what you have to say! ***  
  
::Saving the Best for Last::  
  
Himura Kawaii  
  
*** Disclaimers apply... Blah blah.. RK's not mine.. Hail the Great Watsuki- sama... The song 'Save the Best for Last' is by Vanessa Williams. I don't own anything! I'm now a college stud, but still poor!!..... Don't sue me! ^_^  
  
  
  
all of the nights you came to me,  
  
when some silly girl has set you free,  
  
you wondered how you'd make it through,  
  
i wondered what was wrong with you...  
  
  
  
I woke up to a loud ringing noise and realized that it was the blasted phone that was causing this ruckus at an unholy hour. I clicked on my bedside lamp and cracked one eye open to check the clock. It was three in the morning. I picked up the phone, half-knowing I'd hear your voice on the other end of the line. Who else would be calling my line on a time like this?  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Kaoru? Did I wake you?"  
  
I hear your sad, but hopeful voice on the phone. Suddenly, a feeling of warmth spread all throughout my system. Your voice does that. It never fails to amaze me how much you can do with such little effort.  
  
"Hey, Kenshin. it's three in the morning, how could you not wake me up?" I kidded, trying to lighten your mood.  
  
I know why you're calling again. I know that tone of voice too well. I know you too well.  
  
"I know." You whisper apologetically. But something else is on your mind. You do not really mean the apology you said, you said it just to fill the emptiness. "We broke up."  
  
I fought hard to push back the joy that's bubbling over me. But I know I'll be hearing more of this thing between you two. My temporary moment of happiness was cut off. Reality sank in. You. Her. When will it end? When will I stop hearing about her? But then again, before her, there were others, and surely, after her, there will be others too. That is, if you even get over her.  
  
There was something about her, I remember you telling me that. Why is it that there's always something in the girls you've liked that isn't in me? If you combine all the somethings that these girls possess, I will be nothing in comparison.  
  
But isn't that what I am to you? Nothing? Nothing but your buddy. Your best friend who always sees you through.  
  
Still I respond caringly.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
You take in a deep breath and everything starts flowing out.  
  
She's been distant lately and you don't know what's gotten over her. You tried talking to her but she wouldn't open up. Things have been different between the two of you. You're going crazy thinking about what it is you've done wrong, and how you could make it up to her. Tonight, you decided to cook her dinner and make her everything she wants. But you ended up fighting over petty things. Things that don't even matter if you think about it.  
  
I groan. How come the nice guys always end up being the slaves of these women? Can't you see she can't love you the way I do? Can't you see she couldn't give you the love you deserve? But I shouldn't be thinking, I should be listening to you while you pour your soul out to me.  
  
You flared up and asked her what she wanted, you were now saying over the phone. She suddenly went quiet and said she wanted her freedom. You felt your world suddenly crash around you. You couldn't breathe for a moment.  
  
"Do you love her?" I ask, afraid what I will hear might kill me.  
  
"Kaoru I've never been in love before. I love her so much. I don't think I can bear losing her." Your voice is cracking; I can feel the pain you're going through. I forget the pain I feel for myself because of the pain I feel for you.  
  
I can almost see you, frustrated, running a hand through your red hair. Sitting in the dark, clutching to the phone as if it would save you from drowning into your sorrow.  
  
I don't know what hurts more, the fact that you're suffering, or the fact that you're suffering because of her.  
  
Life can be so funny. Life can be so damn funny I want to cry. I want to cry for you and me, and all the things wasted in this world. Wasted because people can't see clearly.  
  
"It's okay." I say, not knowing what else to tell you. There is nothing more I could say or do to make you feel better. It's unfair when you think of it.  
  
She doesn't do anything yet she means the world to you. I do everything and I don't mean a thing to you.  
  
Well, maybe I do. There were times I almost thought I mean more to you than what you let on. There were times I could almost feel you feel it too. Sometimes I thought I could be more than a best friend to you. Obviously, I was wrong.  
  
"I don't know." Your voice is dripping with sadness. "I don't think I can get over her. She was everything I could ever wish for. I love her so much."  
  
Fuck you Kenshin. I whisper through gritted teeth.  
  
Fuck you for being so stupid.  
  
Fuck you for being so blind.  
  
Damn you. Damn me. Damn.  
  
I'm here. I'm here, can't you see me? Can't you feel me? I'm here, you idiot. What is wrong with you?  
  
"Look," I find myself blurting out. "Why don't you sleep on it? I still have an exam tomorrow morning, I can't afford to fail this one just because she couldn't see how good she's got it. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
I regretted those words the moment they came out of my mouth. I sounded a bit too bitter, a bit too harsh. "I'm sorry" I start to say.  
  
"No." You cut me off. "I'm sorry for being a pain. it's just that you're the only one who understands me. You're the only one I could turn to, Kaoru."  
  
I feel warmth all over my body again. But this time I shiver. Why do I shiver in the warmth? I hug my blanket closer to my chest. Why won't your voice give me warmth now?  
  
I look at my window, clouds are starting to cover the moon. Darkness is winning over light. I continued to stare for a while, hoping the clouds would stop, but they didn't. Soon the moon was entirely covered with dark fluffy clouds. I sigh.  
  
"I know, Kenshin." I barely whisper and put the phone down.  
  
Because I DO know.  
  
I know how it feels to have your world crash around you. I know how it feels to gasp in order to breathe. I know how it feels to love. I know, Kenshin. You know why? Because every time I'm with you, I feel all of these. You do these things to me, repeatedly.  
  
Yet I still stay.  
  
Now, as I clutch my blanket, hanging on for dear life, I suddenly realize, maybe I need to stay away from you. You are my life, and you're killing me. You're killing me slowly.  
  
Maybe it's time.  
  
It's time I find my own life.  
  
'cause how could you give your love to someone else  
  
and share your dreams with me?  
  
sometimes the very thing your looking for  
  
is the one thing you can't see.  
  
Vanessa Williams Save the Best for Last  
  
*** Okay, this is my first try at first-person POV. sure makes it more easier being the character!! I hope you guys like it.  
  
I know, my weakness is not being able to finish my stories!!! But this one will only be three or four chappies. I promise!  
  
Is it dark? Depressing? Sad? I dunno.. tell me what you think.  
  
Till the next chappies! Please review! ^_^ 


	2. Chapter 2 Somehow, It's Enough

::Saving the Best for Last::  
  
Himura Kawaii  
  
Chapter Two  
  
*** Disclaimers apply... Blah blah.. RK's not mine.. Hail the Great Watsuki- sama... The song 'Save the Best for Last' is by Vanessa Williams. I don't own anything! I'm now a college stud, but still poor!!..... Don't sue me! ^_^  
  
Sometimes the snow comes down in june  
  
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon  
  
I see the passion in your eyes  
  
sometimes It's all a big surprise  
  
  
  
I silently thank God as I walk through the halls of this sophisticated university. The test had been fairly easy and I managed to answer all of the questions. I was perfectly happy, walking along, not caring at all.  
  
Then I saw him. His head was down, his beautiful hair falling onto the pull of gravity. His beautiful body was silhouetted beneath the blue cotton shirt he was wearing. I held my breath. I didn't dare call his name, for I knew what was going to happen next. I had to duck somewhere fast.  
  
So much for carelessness, I thought. But before I could run to the nearest classroom, he has already spotted me and was now rushing towards me with glee and what was it? A bit of hope?  
  
I felt powerful at that moment. To see someone run to you with so much anticipation and so much relief was a sight to behold. Especially if the one running to you is the only person you'd give everything to in a blink of an eye.  
  
But I was going to avoid you, wasn't I? I have to be cold. I have to be distant. I have to-  
  
"Hey, Kaoru. I'm so glad I saw you!" You tell me while you wrap an arm around me and carry my stuff.  
  
Of course in any other case, I would've thought a whole lot about this gesture, but then you've treated me this way since I don't know when. And I'm also just your best friend. No malice, remember?  
  
"Oh, hey, Kenshin, what's up?" I say this a coldly as humanly possible. Okay, maybe as humanly possible when you're dealing with the love of your life.  
  
But I can't.  
  
You lunge into a half-hour monologue about her. Again. You didn't even notice the feigned concern in my voice. You didn't even feel the coldness of my response. All that was important to you was to get her back, and nothing else.  
  
God, it could rain fireballs and everything could explode and still you'd talk about her. Or maybe you'd be by her side by that time, forgetting all about little ol' me. How convenient.  
  
I don't listen to your blabber. I tune myself out. I make my heart go as hard as I could.  
  
But it won't.  
  
Somehow, you managed to feel my indifference. "Is something the matter with you?" You ask.  
  
Are you really concerned, or are you just pretending to be concerned?  
  
I shrug. "Maybe a drinking session could cheer you up." You say helpfully. "Your exams are over, aren't they? Join me in drowning the sorrows of the world!"  
  
Wow, we're supposed to drink again and get inebriated again and get a huge hangover the next day? But in spite of myself, I agree. How long have we been doing this? I guess I could do it one last time, for friendship's sake.  
  
Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?  
  
We go to your house, into your room I know so well- those posters of your favorite rock bands.. The humongous bean bag I considered my own (because I'm the only one who occupies it), your big messy bed, with the sheets tangled up and the comforter strewn aside, the picture of her on your bedside table. God, the familiarity is so suffocating. We drink, talk about everything, and anything. I could tell you everything, and I have. You know all my secrets, except I haven't told you the fact that I love you and, well, that I'm really not having a good time feeling this thing.  
  
In fact, loving alone isn't so hot.  
  
Some great number of beers later, I find myself splattered in your bed, definitely drunk. Definitely drunk is a bad thing. I have never been drunk in my whole life. You were always the one who got tipsy easily. I start to fear I may say something I might regret later on, but I couldn't do anything about it.  
  
I felt woozy and everything is hazy. The next thing I know, we were giggling like idiots, lying on top of each other. I could feel your steady breathing, the rhythmic beating of your heart and the warmth of your soft skin.  
  
I have never been this close before.  
  
Suddenly you kissed me.  
  
Everything is black and white at the same time.  
  
*** I woke up with a killer hangover. Bright sunshine filled the room and blinded me. I must've forgotten to pull the blinds in my window.  
  
Wait-  
  
I'm not in my room. I look down to find my lavender star-printed comforter was replace by a blue and gold comforter. "Where am I?" I mutter to myself. I winced in pain as a stinging pain throbbed in my temples. It must be the start of a killer headache.  
  
Why am I in your room?! Why am I under your blankets?  
  
Suddenly I remembered last night. I look at my right to see you sprawled beside me; you were lying on your chest, your smooth back peering out of the cloth.  
  
"Shit!" I don't remember anything after the kiss. It was all hazy. But I was definitely sure something had happened. Something that shouldn't have happened!  
  
I panic and wake you up. You turned around and cracked an eye open. "Nani..?" You ran a hand through your hair; you must be having a headache too.  
  
"Kenshin wake up." I say, almost panicky. "Wake up." I sit up, pulling the blanket to my chest, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself.  
  
You sit up, too, rubbing the sleepiness out of your eyes. I swear, if this hadn't been a mistake, I would've loved waking up with you every single day of my entire life.  
  
"What is it, Kaoru?" You ask, "Why are you here?"  
  
I wanted to slap you right then and there. How dare you ask me such a thing, when it's your doing as much as mine? But I keep my mouth shut. If you're smart enough to get a 4.0 GPA, you sure as hell are smart enough to figure this one out.  
  
"OHMIGOD." You let out a shout. You rub your eyes as if to clear your vision.  
  
Wow. You catch up easily.  
  
"What did we do?" I ask you, knowing full well what the answer was.  
  
"Kaoru, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take advantage of you. Man, this is all my fault!" You hold my hands as if to tell me that everything will be okay, that nothing bad is going to happen. "I was so drunk and I, please forgive me!"  
  
I remember why I fell in love with you.  
  
You didn't say, 'It's all your fault.' Or 'I was drunk, you took advantage.'  
  
Instead you took all the blame, even begging me for forgiveness. I'm stunned. But you still think all this is a mistake. I don't know whether to cry or to smile. Still, I persevere.  
  
"What are we going to do?" I find myself asking you.  
  
I know it is even stupid to ask. Of course things weren't going to go the way I want it to. Of course I wanted you to say that you wanted this all along. There's still that tiny glimmer of hope in me, that maybe you weren't really drunk at all last night.  
  
Maybe this was how it was supposed to be.  
  
You.  
  
Me.  
  
You and me.  
  
"I don't know." "Do you regret what happened? " I ask simply.  
  
I believe I am now becoming notorious for hurting myself with asking questions I know the answers to.  
  
You pause and stop rubbing your temples. You open your mouth and close it again.  
  
I'm back to square one. Wasn't it just the other night I promised to stay away from you?  
  
What irony.. I'm now in your bed.  
  
And what's even funnier is that this thing about you and me won't have a happy ending.  
  
I cover your blanket around my body, suddenly feeling more naked than I could be. I stand up and paste a brave smile on my face.  
  
How many more times can I endure this?  
  
"It's okay, Kenshin. It was a mistake." I quickly dress up with you watching me like a stunned boy.  
  
"I have to go now. I'm late for class."  
  
And I leave.  
  
I leave before you could say anything.  
  
Before you could see me cry.  
  
Before it's too late to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.  
  
At least in a moment of my life, we were one.  
  
At least..  
  
Just once.  
  
  
  
'cause there was a time when all I did was wish  
  
you'd tell me this was love  
  
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned  
  
but some how it's enough  
  
Vanessa Williams  
  
Save The Best For Last  
  
***  
  
Man! It was short and a bit uneventful.. But the thing is.. something happened!! And it's the first time something happened like this in my fics!! I didn't include the whole thing.. Cuz, well, I'm no expert on THAT thing.. So forgive me for the jump in the scenes. ^_^  
  
Sorry I haven't been updating a lot... finals week are coming. and man, it's gonna be hell! ^_^ plus I'm really not psyched to write something sooooo sad.. Becuz life is good for me right now. ^_______^ hope you guys are having the time of your lives!!  
  
Well, I'll be definitely writing more this sem break. That is, if we don't transfer to another house. Gee.. So many hindrances!!  
  
Yeah, I guess you could say I write from personal experiences.. But NOTHING like this!! Hehehe. I just have an over-active imagination.. ^_^  
  
I honestly don't know what will happen next, but as many of you had predicted, yeah, there'll be a happy ending.. But as to the happenings in between.. Well, I *haven't* really thought about that yet.. Teehee.. Any suggestions?  
  
Thanks minna for reading and reviewing!!! Love y'all!! ( 


	3. Chapter 3 Where's the Magic?

::Saving the Best for Last::  
  
Himura Kawaii  
  
Chapter Three  
  
*** Disclaimers apply... Blah blah.. RK's not mine.. Hail the Great Watsuki- sama... The song 'Save the Best for Last' is by Vanessa Williams. I don't own anything! I'm now a college stud, but still poor!!..... Don't sue me! ^_^  
  
  
  
It's been a year since I stopped talking to you. A year since I stopped living.  
  
I guess you could I say that you're my life. I don't know what happened to me that day, the day I decided to stop talking to you.  
  
But that doesn't mean I stopped thinking about you. Nor did I stop caring for you. That would be plain hypocrisy to say that, and you know me. I know how many girls you went out with after her. I know whom among them you slept with and I also know that none of them mattered.  
  
I knew all these without even asking you. I just have to look at you and I see everything. I know you too well.  
  
Is that a curse or a gift?  
  
Yes, it's been a year since I stopped talking to you. A year since I stopped living.  
  
Do you miss me? Or do you even think of me? Of that night?  
  
Because I do. Each damn waking day I think of you. Every single day of my life is filled with thoughts of you. If my brain gets vacuumed, everything that will be sucked out is you.  
  
I heard from a common friend that you were having a hard time without me. Is that so?  
  
Is it because you have no one else to listen to you when you rant about her? Do you miss me or do you miss the things I do for you?  
  
Am I bitter? It seems that the story of my life doesn't have any movement. It's like I'm stuck in this zone and every time I try to get out, I sink even deeper.  
  
Anyway, I'm standing here outside my room, waiting for my class to start. My friends surround me, they chat endlessly, but I don't take part. I'm staring at the trees that surround my building, but I don't see them. I guess it's been like this since.  
  
I exist but I don't belong.  
  
I stare but I don't see.  
  
I breathe but I don't live.  
  
It's not your fault. No, it's not your fault.  
  
And you suddenly appear. Ohmigod, what do I do?  
  
Calm down, Kaoru. You've managed to avoid him for a year, this should be easy.  
  
But it's not. You're heading towards me. This is de ja vu.  
  
You haven't changed. It's still you- those violet eyes, the lean body and your intense red hair. Haven't you changed at all? Are you still the same sweet, caring person I love? Is there someone else comforting you when you're down?  
  
Am I the one who made things even worse?  
  
Is this a no-win situation?  
  
I stay and I hurt.  
  
I leave and I still hurt.  
  
Was I born to be an idiot?  
  
Before I knew it, you're standing directly in front of me, your eyes bearing that puppy-dog, innocent look that I know so well.  
  
God, I hate it that I know you too well.  
  
We stay like that, looking at each other dumbly, for what seemed to me like an eternity.  
  
Who would blame me? I could drown in your eyes and almost think that I could take your soul with me.  
  
I could stare at you forever, and that would be my idea of heaven.  
  
"Kaoru." I hear your soft voice pleading.  
  
Shit. I could feel my indifference dissolving.  
  
"What do you want, Kenshin?" I hear myself say coldly.  
  
You wince as if I threw cold water at your face.  
  
"Can we talk?" You shyly ask me.  
  
I breathe. I know I still hold the ball in this game. I still call the play.  
  
"So talk."  
  
You glance sideways, obviously referring to all the people surrounding us. "In private?"  
  
"What you want to tell me, you can tell in front of everyone else."  
  
I never thought I could be this cold. I never thought I'd see the day I would hurt you. I want to back off. But I remain.  
  
"Please Kaoru?" You plead.  
  
NO. Never again, Kenshin.  
  
People surrounding us start to hush down and pay attention to our conversation. I don't know if I can put up with this any longer.  
  
Suddenly, the class before us started pouring out of the room. I sigh a breath of relief and hurry inside.  
  
But not before you grab my arm.  
  
"What do you want Kenshin?" I could feel the frustration rising in my throat. "Why do you always have to be so damn annoying?!"  
  
"Kaoru, I know I've been a jerk-"  
  
"Well, that's good, Kenshin. You're catching up fast."  
  
"Kaoru please, listen to me."  
  
I start to walk away, quickly as I could.  
  
"Kaoru, I need you." You shout in front of all these people in the hallway. I could hear the desperation in your voice.  
  
I had to walk back. "Are you crazy? I have classes. So just leave me alone, okay?"  
  
"I-" You pause.  
  
What is it now? You need me? You care for me? You have to talk to me? You what?  
  
"You what, Kenji?" I interrupt, almost daring you to tell me whatever the hell it is that you've come up with now.  
  
"I LOVE YOU."  
  
I didn't know what came over me. Before I knew it my hand acted on it's own and I have slapped you.  
  
Hard.  
  
On the face.  
  
In front of the whole school.  
  
What did I do that for?  
  
I love you too.  
  
What?  
  
I love you too, Kenshin.  
  
What did you say?  
  
I love you, dammit, just say it.  
  
I'm panicking.  
  
What just happened?!!  
  
Amidst all the embarrassment I caused you, you repeat what you said again. Plus you launch into a long explanation about everything that had happened.  
  
"I love you Kaoru. Please believe me. I was so stupid not to see it before. I could never make any of my relationships work out because it was always you. It has always been you."  
  
I stood there, frozen, with almost a hundred faces expectant of my answer.  
  
Why can't I say it?  
  
I was supposed to feel triumphant in this moment, right?  
  
This was supposed to be my moment.  
  
I love you too. That's not so hard, is it?  
  
But why do I feel like a freak show? Like what you just said was another lie? That you just said all of these to make me come back?  
  
Am I in the wrong scene?  
  
Just say those damn three words, Kaoru.  
  
Was it because I didn't want you to realize you love me because I'm gone?  
  
I wanted you to realize you loved me while I was with you.  
  
While I was there.  
  
I shook my head and left you standing there, looking lost and confused.  
  
I love you too Kenshin.  
  
But I've had enough.  
  
I love you..  
  
..goodbye.  
  
  
  
  
  
*** Ei.. how was it? I think this fic's gonna be longer than I intended it to be. Gomen ne! And I have no idea how it'd go!!  
  
::kawaii holds out a big sign that reads 'HELP'::  
  
Hehe.. funny, I've been receiving a lot of messages telling me that they can relate to this fic.. I dunno.. this made me think, did we all, at one time on our lives, became a victim of this bug called..  
  
"Unrequited Love"?!  
  
LOL!! I know I was. But now I'm not. Hahahaha.. LOL again. Enough of this crap talk. ^__^  
  
I didn't include a part of the song here in this chappie cuz it just didn't seem appropriate.. so next chappie will contain a part of the song. :D  
  
To Lexa and her friends, this is for you guys. ^__^  
  
Lexa.. Loving someone without expecting anything in return is the ultimate sacrifice a person can make for another. Hang in there, girl! *^^* 


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